Extract

Not Out, No Ball, Over! by Jack Perkins

Jack Perkins will be familiar to many as the doyen of Radio New Zealand feature makers. His Spectrum documentaries have provided a space on the airwaves for an extraordinary range of interesting and quirky New Zealanders.

But Jack Perkins the cricketer, writer and blogger is less well known. He’s just published a collection of his cricket blogs Not Out No Ball, Over! that could see that begin to change. Here’s an extract:

Bags Goes Bananas

In a recent post, I highlighted the nicknames of several New Zealand representatives; I could also have mentioned ‘Bags’ Murray. Bags was derived from his full name – Bruce Alexander Grenfell Murray. I bowled many an over to Bags in Wellington club cricket and was always impressed – or perhaps depressed would be more accurate – by the unhurried ease with which he summed up the flight of the ball and its line and length. But I suppose this is hardly surprising for a batsman who accumulated over 2000 test runs at an average of 37.2.

He was no slouch with the ball. His leggies, delivered from an impressive height,
appeared from out of the clouds and took an age to arrive. Bags can boast the bestbowling average in New Zealand test cricket. He bowled only one over in tests, at the Basin Reserve against India in 1968. It was a maiden and he dismissed opener Abid Ali.

Bags was a man of principle: he didn’t play on Sunday, believing the day should be set aside for his family. It took a lot to upset the lanky, phlegmatic Bags but upset he was by an incident which occurred on New Zealand’s 1969 tour of Pakistan. The outcome propelled Bags into our cricket folklore.
It was the 3rd test at Dacca and the crowd was more than usually boisterous. Missiles of all description were raining onto the field and the unfortunate Bags was fielding at 3rd man and getting pelted. The final straw came with a blow on the back of his neck.

Looking round, Bags spied a very large banana which he seized as evidence and began a march towards the umpire to protest. Dayle Hadlee was running in to bowl when the umpire noticed Bags approaching, brandishing a banana. Sensing that something out of the ordinary was afoot, the umpire attempted to stop Hadlee but was unsuccessful. Hadlee hurled the ball at Asif Iqbal who obligingly nicked it to deep gully, which was exactly the point reached by the irate Bags and the offending banana.

Bags was outstanding in the slips, a skill he then demonstrated by making a superb diving catch. He sprang to his feet, triumphantly clutching the ball in one hand and the banana in the other, much to the astonishment and glee of the New Zealanders. It must be rare indeed that the normal enough drama of a dismissal has the additive of slapstick.

While Bags’ banana act had players doubled over with laughter, the nonplussed umpire quickly recovered his poise and declared Iqbal not out on the grounds that he had already stopped play.

The story would be complete if we knew the fate of the banana.

Jack Perkins read some of his blogs for RNZ’s summer programme which can be listened at the RNZ site.

Copies of Not Out No Ball, Over! can be ordered directly from Jack: jack.perkins[at]paradise.net.nz

And his blogs continue to be publishd on the website Cricket Mystery.